Lessons Learned From 28 Years of Marriage

I have been an old married lady for 28 years… nearing 29 in August! While I am far from an expert on the subject, there are definitely many lessons that I’ve learned from 28 years of marriage that I would like to pass on to you!

How it all began…

Last night I was walking around in my yard, and I glanced over at our old Ford truck. That truck has been sitting in my yard for my entire married life. It is old and ugly and hasn’t been driven in years, and I have been begging Richard for years to get rid of it. But as I looked at it, I began to think of the stories that it could tell.

Richard drove that old Ford truck to pick me up for our first date. It was in that old truck that he proposed to me all of those years ago. We also drove that old truck when we left our wedding to begin our honeymoon. It occurred to me that the reason why that old truck is still in my life is because my husband is at heart a wonderfully sentimental and romantic man.

It was that old truck that got me to thinking last night and prompted me to write this post today…

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” 

Dave Meurer

An Amazing Man

I am going to be completely honest here. I have long known that I don’t truly deserve my husband. He is a far better person than could ever claim to be. He is patient and kind. Richard works hard, and he is the most selfless person that I know. Most importantly, he supports me no matter what. I have said so many times that my decision to marry him was the wisest choice that I ever made.

When I became hopelessly frustrated with the ridiculous and unrealistic expectations that are being put on both teachers and students in public schools, Richard supported my decision to get out of teaching. He has fully supported me in my new life of being self employed.

That sweet man is always one of the first people to read my blog posts. He listens to my endless stories about estate sales and antique booth setup, as he listened to my millions of teaching stories over the years. He is a true rock, my biggest champion, and he loves me despite all of my many flaws. Yes. I am fortunate, and I know it.

In addition, Richard is a wonderful father. He loves our boys unconditionally and accepts them both as they are. He has always been supportive of them and their activities. Most importantly, they always know that he loves them and will do anything for them.

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.”

Khalil Gibran

My Secrets and Lessons Learned…

You don’t stay married for 28 years without learning some lessons along the way! What we really need is for Richard to share his secrets, but mine will have to do…

• Marry the right person! Okay. I realize that this is a no brainer, but honestly, I just want to drive home the importance of following your heart and thinking long and hard before you decide to spend the rest of your life with another person!
• Laugh together. I really think that this is so important. You must have the ability to see the humor in everyday events. Richard is one funny man, and we laugh together… a LOT!
• Don’t stress over the small stuff. I’ll be the first to admit that this was hard for me at first. I hated the way that Richard would just toss his clothes to the ground when he got dressed in the morning. I know that there are things about me that drive him insane. The point is, though, that if you’re going to live together long term, you have to learn to pick your battles, and clothes on the floor just isn’t one worth fighting!
• Time apart is good! Richard and I spend quite a bit of time apart pursuing our own passions and interests, and that’s a good thing! I don’t feel a need to be with him every waking moment. I can tell you that I have NO DESIRE to traipse about in the wilderness at 5:00 AM in a quest to shoot a deer, but I’m fine with him doing it if he enjoys it. Furthermore, I don’t expect him to constantly follow me around and accompany me to estate sales in the hunt for Pyrex bowls! Plus, doing our own things gives us plenty to talk about!
• Forgive each other. Goodness. This is a big one. You must be willing to forgive each other for the occasional lapse in judgment. This also includes forgiving and doing your best to forget. We all make mistakes, and hopefully we learn from them along the way, as well.
• Practice your faith. While I’m not an overtly religious person, I am most definitely a person of very strong faith. It is important to pray for your family, and that includes your spouse and your marriage.

While I have learned many lessons from 28 years of marriage, I am quite certain that I could list many more, but I feel that these are the most important. While I am far from an expert on marriage, I do think that for most people, life experience grants us wisdom. I also choose to believe that I have learned some wonderful life lessons from my amazing husband over the years!

As always, I welcome any comments that you may have! Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/jillsjournal8612/

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